he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
