i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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