it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
