i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
