i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
