My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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