Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize