I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
