apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
