Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
