He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
