yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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