i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
