they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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