Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
