shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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