just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
