Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So drunk its hurt
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
