i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
