whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
