i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
