I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
