guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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