he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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