Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
