So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
