I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
