Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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