Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize