I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
