I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
