all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
