Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
