You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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