dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
