Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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