Me too!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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