so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
