I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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