Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
