So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
