I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
