I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize