I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
