I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
