p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
