What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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