If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
