yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just pee around me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
