drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
