Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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