I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
