Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
