the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
