So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Randomize
