honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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