Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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