Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
