My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
