At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
