I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
