My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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