i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
