Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize