apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
