It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
