id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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