we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
