It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
