you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
