yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am spending my child support on dildos
well you can't waste a boner
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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