Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
zippers are such a cool invention
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
