i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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