That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
